You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I think my fart just growled at me.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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