please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
