Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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