white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
