Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
My feet surprised me
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