i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
