but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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