I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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