Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
