No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
