so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
