The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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