So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
