im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
