those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
