I just made out with a guy for $7.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
