someone threw a dead crab at me
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Randomize
