i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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