idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I just gift wrapped bread.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
