i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
pop tarts are not kleenex
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
