I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
