I'm laying in your front yard are you home
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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