i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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