I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
