What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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