Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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