wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
