UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
