He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
