I think I just saw someone hide a body.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Randomize
