I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
