we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize