We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
