I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
