At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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