Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
