ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Randomize
