Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
