She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
