before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
