I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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