o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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