i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
