Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
