He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
