Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
