just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
