We're like a lot better than the average bears
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I'm having to shit out rocks
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
