Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
