She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
